Questionable Developments

Past Imperfect – #552

George: “I’m so happy to finally have you in my arms.”

Janet: “Oh, is that what you’re calling these things that are encircling my virginal body with an intensity that I can’t fully appreciate? For some reason, the phrase ‘death claws’ comes to mind.”

George: “Whatever do you mean, my love?”

Janet: “It means put me down before I soil my delicate womb-raiment with a combination of outrage and fear.”

George: “I don’t understand. In our letters, you spoke endlessly of your burning desire to be rapturously taken in a field of clover and hyacinth. Such a field is just over yonder, one I methodically cultivated during my many years of incarceration. We’ll have to hurdle the barbed-wire fence to gain access to penitentiary grounds, but everything there has been sown with the seeds of our mutual desire.”

Janet: “That’s just it, the incarceration. And the disparity about the mutual desire. When I signed up for the prison pen-pal program, something I only did because it would look good on my resume, I never dreamed that they would actually release you.”

George: “But you shared all of your forbidden desires with me, even the one about the clown who has a balloon that pops unexpectedly. That was my favorite, one I fully understand after seven years of nowhere for me to pop.”

Janet: “Perhaps you missed the part about me never expecting that you would be released. At least into society. I’m sure there was some degree of release when you dropped the soap in the communal shower. I’m not naïve, you know. I get satellite TV.”

George: “This greatly deflates me, just like the burly men who recovered my dropped soap and then resorted to a thuggish manner of bartering. Well, I guess I misunderstood certain things, which is no surprise considering my conviction in a court of law. I suppose I should just plow under our Field of Dreams and then go dig up the money.”

Janet: “Wait. Money? What money?”

George: “The money I stole that eventually led to a slippery soap and a previous pen pal that had completely different accessories than you. It’s all mine now. I’ve already served the time, so they can’t stop me from spending it.”

Janet: “Oh. And exactly how much money are we talking about? I only ask from a scholastic perspective, of course.”

George: “Four million dollars. And some change. I never counted the money in one of the duffel bags, because once you hit four million, what’s the point?”

Janet: “It seems to me that at this point I should marry you. And I have my own shovel. It’s a beautiful arrangement.”

George: “Not so fast, Slitherina. I’ve now had time to contemplate our conversation, and it’s obvious to me that you had no intention of furthering our relationship.”

Janet: “Whatever would give you an idea like that?”

George: “Your hat, my former dear. No one would wear such a hideous thing if they had any desire to consummate beyond pen and paper.”

Janet: “How absurd. I think you’re making much ado about an otherwise innocent use of accessories.”

George: “Then you’ve clearly never dropped the soap in Cell Block D.”

 

13 replies »

  1. I kept waiting for the hat to drop (ba-da-bing). I knew you couldn’t leave it out! Rather looks like something a second grader would make in arts & crafts.
    I wonder how they adjusted filming to get George’s five o’clock shadow at the perfect moment?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Does Brad know about George?? Did Brad also briefly stay in Cell Block D and therefore was privy to the soap (slippery or not ) incident? Slippery soap (bwahahah). Actually I do believe ‘Janet’ aka the recently deceased (not possibly dead at all, but really dead) is Debby Reynolds, is it not? I do not recognize the fellow though. Thought briefly it was Jimmy Stewart, but upon further reflection, no. The lady in question seems to me to be coyly (I mean 4 million! A girl will put up with an awful lot for that), coyly asking her erstwhile beau why he didn’t use some Scope and the toothbrush she smuggled in, just to make sure his dental hygiene remained pristine, even if the rest of him became a bit sullied. And maybe asking where he got the unmistakable odor of Brut on his breath…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • George’s special proclivities aside (and you know he has them), I should point out that “Janet”, in this case is Janet Gaynor. (This film, “Sunrise”, stumbled out of the gates in 1927, long before the glowing and talented Debbie Reynolds first hoofed it on the stage of life.) And George is George O’Brien. Now, I am going to say this with the extreme delicacy that I am not known for (ahem), but (when I know such) I usually point out the stars and relevant movie in the tags I use for the post, and that was the case here. If you find yourself in a bit of head-scratching whilst perusing one of the Crusty Pie images (that sounds terribly horrid, doesn’t it?) just do a bit of scrolling and diddle with the tags at the bottom (yet another questionable bit of terminology).

      Still and all, the “Brut on his breath” line is fetchingly admirable, and I simply must find a photo to further explore that avenue…

      Like

      • Oh you’d think I’d LEARN not to name names and mix frames of reference while consuming slices of crusty pie. I’m no classic film buff at all. And I wondered at the prudence of mixing Janet and Debbie, just as I did George and Jimmy…erred on the side of caution with one, stuck my foot in the pie in the other. Thanks for the tip…I’m tucking it away for the next time I want pie. Pie is never a bad thing, no not at all…

        Liked by 1 person

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