Poor Choices

Past Imperfect – #511

Anna May: “I’m sorry, I was momentarily distracted by my own perkiness and I didn’t quite catch what you were saying. Could you repeat it, please?”

Police Officer: “I said that you seem awfully chipper considering we just found the famous movie producer, Irving Hindenburg, floating in the pool behind you.”

Anna May: “You did? Oh. Well, I don’t recall inviting him over so I hope you arrested him for trespassing.”

Office: “We couldn’t quite do that, Miss Wong. Because he’s dead. And I was trying to see what you knew about how he became that way.”

Anna May: “That’s terrible! Now I’ll have to have the entire pool drained and scrubbed. Do you have any idea how much that costs in today’s economy?”

Officer: “I’m thinking the focus should be more on the fact that Irving is dead and not the possible impacts to your household budget.”

Anna May: “This smells a bit like harassment. Should I be calling a lawyer? I have several on standby. Sadly, none of them know how to get the producer smell out of a pool.”

Officer: “You might need one of those lawyers here in a bit. It depends on how you answer my next few questions. Tell me about your relationship with the deceased.”

Anna May: “There isn’t one to tell about. I have no idea who this Imogene Salzburg person is or why he found it imperative to bite it in my personal waters.”

Officer: “The name is Irving Hindenburg. And he was the producer on your last three films, It Happened One Afternoon, Birth of a Libation, and A Streetcar Named Libido.”

Anna May: “Oh, that Irving Hindenburg. You should have been more forthcoming. One runs across so many Hindenburgs in the movie business. Still, I barely know him.”

Officer: “Even though you just sued him for breach of contract concerning the profits from your Libido?”

Anna May: “I didn’t sue him. My lawyers did. Maybe you should ask one of them why they stabbed Imogene and shoved him in my previously-pristine pool where I once used to swim laps without worrying about rude people asking too many questions.”

Officer: “I never said that Irving was stabbed. But I will say that we also found arsenic in the California rolls on the sushi platter you have set out on your lanai. Just who did you intend to eat that?”

Anna May: “Nobody I know. California rolls are the Prius of the sushi world. Nobody with any real respect for the art wants anything to do with that mess.”

Officer: “Yet you served these bastard rolls anyway. Do you really not understand how things are not looking good for you right at the moment?”

Anna May: “I understand that me and my coordinated outfit are getting a little tired of you making baseless accusations and hinting that someone of my professional standards would need a backup plan in case the stabbing angle didn’t work out.”

Officer: “I see. Okay, could you extend your coordinated arms so I can place handcuffs on them? Because your Prius battery just died and I’m your new charging station.”


12 replies »

    • Oh, I love California rolls as well. I just get ribbed by my sushi-snooty friends that “there’s not actually any raw fish in that mess”. (Although to be fair, “sushi” refers to the method of serving things in a rice roll and not the actual contents. “Sashimi” is where we get into raw meat or fish being the main component. And with that, class is now dismissed. Let’s go eat!)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Another thing I love about your blog is that you introduce me to stars I never heard of, such as the spunky and delightful Anna May. She seems quite cunning for one so young.
    I must say, I love her shoes. Any idea where I might pick up a pair? (All your blog lacks is a shopping guide. Plug that in and you’re gold. Gold, baby!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anna May was actually quite famous there for a while, more popular than other stars in her heyday who are now better remembered. (Dear Hollywood: Her story would make a GREAT movie.) Now, those shoes. I was trying my best to work them into the story, as they are just too darn cute, but it didn’t quite gel. As for the shopping guide? I’ll look into it. (Translation: No.) 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Of course, her attorney has to be very careful when advising his client, as we’ve already learned that slumping Miss Anna May does not take kindly to not getting her way. At the very least, he should pass on the sushi… 😉


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