Unexpected Developments

Past Imperfect – #498


Gary: “Is that someone at the door? Are you expecting anyone?”

Ann: “Of course not. I have no idea who it is. And I didn’t sleep with the vacuum cleaner salesman.”

Gary: “That seems like a lot of information to share when a simple ‘no’ would have been sufficient.”

Ann: “I’m sorry, dear. I’m just tired and worn out. But it’s not because I spent the entire afternoon letting the salesman show me exactly what all those attachments can do for the lady of the house.”

Gary: “You’re starting to worry me. Should I be concerned that you are denying things that you haven’t been accused of?”

Ann: “No, no concern at all. I’m telling you the absolute truth when I say that I have never slept with another man since we got married.”

Justine: “Excuse me, could I put in a word or two?”

Gary: “Who said that? Is there somebody else in the room?”

Justine: “No, I’m not in the room, because you haven’t opened this damn door yet, you babbling twits. Let me break things down for you, Gary the Slow. Ann is being clever with her phrasing, and so far she has told the truth. But if you replace the word ‘man’ with the word ‘woman’ in all of her statements, then everything she has just said to you is a lie.”

Gary: “Then that would mean…”

Ann: “That I’ve never slept with a man named Justine!”

Justine: “See, she’s doing it again, Gary. Now, before you two jump on the divorce train, could somebody open this door so I can get my sample kit that I left in your now-cold bedroom? I’ve got some other sales calls scheduled on this street full of lonely housewives.”


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