Past Imperfect – #473


Greta: “I’m so excited that we’re getting our picture taken!”

Hans: “Oh, please. I’m a year older than you, and let me assure you that this will get tiresome really fast.”

Greta: “You’re such a pessimist, Hans. You’re just mad because you’re wearing obscenely ridiculous shorts.”

Hans: “Like those idiotic bows in your hair are any less obscene?”

Greta: “Don’t be bitter. Mommy and Daddy like me better and they gave me these beautiful bows to show that I’m a princess.”

Hans: “Of course they like you better. You’re the newest model on the factory line. That’s how it works in this family.”

Greta: “Factory line? What on earth do you and your outdated bowtie mean?”

Hans: “It means that Mommy and Daddy are obsessed with being trendy, so they keep procreating in the hopes of always having the most current product. Once you’re thirty seconds past your expiration date, you’re history, just like our older brothers and sisters.”

Greta: “We have older brothers and sisters?”

Hans: “That’s exactly my point.”

Greta: “I still think you’re just jealous of my beauty.”

Hans: “Take a gander at our boots. They are the exactly the same. Do you know what this means?”

Greta: “That there’s only one cobbler in town?”

Hans: “That we have to fit a certain mold. And once you no longer fit that mold, your butt is sent out to pasture, no matter how many ribbons you’re wearing.”

Narrator: “And thus began the Hollywood tradition of valuing youth over talent…”


13 replies »

  1. ROFL – I think that the matching boots and socks were the first thing that I noticed! At least we can see that they have the same parents…although, who their father really is might be a huge question mark!
    “Mother’s baby – Father’s ‘maybe!’ ” – or something like that…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As the head researcher noted, there was one small deviation in the sequencing of the cloning experiment. On the bright side, the shoes did fit perfectly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly, the head researcher was not aware that he wasn’t allowed to note anything, as this was all a publicity stunt meant to hide the true furtive meaning of the project, and he was quickly whisked away to an internment camp, where there was no happiness, ever…

      Liked by 1 person

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