Past Imperfect – #452

Poor Choices

By Brian Lageose on November 3, 2016 • ( 6 Comments )

Orson, left: “Why are you staring at me like that? Can’t a guy watch a movie in peace?”

Joseph, right: “Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you appear to be… attending to a self-pleasure ritual that is not quite appropriate for our establishment.”

Orson: “Look, I paid for my ticket. What’s the big deal?”

Joseph: “The deal is that the performance should be on the screen, not in the audience.”

Waldo, way in the background, hollering: “Hey Joseph, your wife is on the phone. Something about a goat that got loose.”

Joseph: “Not now, Waldo. Bit of a situation, here. Take a message.”

Waldo: “But she really wants to talk to you. I’m guessing the goat is doing something that it shouldn’t.”

Joseph: “I know the feeling.”

Orson: “Are you calling me a goat?”

Joseph: “I’m not calling you anything. But I am saying that you need to put the wick away. That candle can’t burn here.”

Orson: “Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? I could have your job.”

Joseph: “And I would gladly give it to you. But until that happens, let’s downplay the foreplay.”

Waldo, still way back there and still hollering: “Now your wife is crying and saying that you don’t love her.”

Joseph: “I don’t love anyone right at the moment. I’ve got so much angst in me right now that I just want to head into the alley and take it out on a trashcan.

Orson: “I already tried that and it didn’t work. That’s why I’m in here.”

 

Categories: Poor Choices

Tagged as: Black and White, Citizen Kane, Film, Flash Fiction, Hollywood, Humor, Joseph Cotten, Movies, Orson Welles, Photography, Sarcasm, Short Story, Vintage, Writing