Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #440


Gisela: “Oh, that looks like the perfect house to flip so we can make a ton of money by simply ripping out all the interior walls and making it an open floor plan.”

Boyd: “I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t mess with this one. I did some research and apparently there was a lot of cross-dressing and homicide going on up in there back in the day.”

Gisela: “Oh, please. Nobody cares about history. That’s why there are so many potential home buyers who pretend that they love historic architecture but all they really want is to gut the place and make it look like something it was never meant to be. Don’t you watch the HGTV channel?”

Boyd: “I do watch it. I also watch the Paranormal Channel and, nine times out of ten, murder houses continue to be murder houses no matter how much subway tile you use during the flip.”

Gisela: “You’re just weak. You need to stop worrying about the right thing to do and take advantage of people who base their lives on what’s trending on Twitter. It’s the American way.”

Boyd: “Wait a minute. Who the hell is standing in that window? I thought this place was vacant.”

Gisela: “Oh, that’s just Mother. She’s really sweet. In fact, she wants to meet you.”

Boyd: “Meet me? I don’t want to meet anybody who lives in a house that’s supposed to be empty. That’s got wrong written all over it.”

Gisela: “Don’t be such a wimp. Come on, let’s run up there. It’ll be fun. Oh, but first you’ll need to sign the guest book in the little motel office to the right.”

Boyd: “Guest book? Motel office? Why do I have so many questions in this conversation? I’ve got a bad vibe here and I think we should just-”

Gisela: “Sign the book, Boyd. Sign it!”


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