Questionable Developments

Past Imperfect – #376

SR 1376

On the movie set, preparing for Take 107.

Bette, on the left: “I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. They’ve got me trussed up like Heidi in a methadone clinic, the entire script is only two pages, and the amount of testosterone in this room could sink the Bismarck.”

Joe, standing: “I don’t actually have any lines in this scene, but the fact that I’m holding a euphemistic-penis shotgun is inspiring me to inappropriately base my sense of self-worth on the ownership of a firearm. I can’t wait for the day when the NRA has a total grip on the Republican Party and gun-control legislation becomes impossible. Oh wait, maybe that’s already happened.”

Dick, center stage: “I don’t know what’s up with the Inbred Yokel on my right, but something tells me this is not the time to get all twisted about incest fingers clutching my hair in a dominating manner. Something also tells me that this is probably the right time to find a new agent.”

Humphrey, in the background: “So, nobody thought it was important that I be in focus for this scene. Fine. I’ll just sit here and ooze a naughty charisma that Clark Gable only thinks he has.” Drops mic.

Leslie, on the right, and still tormented about not taking the opportunity to change his screen name: “If there was ever a time in the history of the planet to create a cocktail that will just get you through the day, this is it. Can I get my parking ticket validated?”


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