Social Awkwardness

Past Imperfect – #320

SR 1320

Wallace: “You seem a bit out of sorts, my pet.”

Joan: “Of course I’m out of sorts. Did you see how they treated me when we checked into this awful hotel?

Wallace: “My dear, this is one of the most exquisite hotels in the country. The staff is extremely professional and discreet. If you don’t want to flush your bidet, they will do it for you and leave a mint on the bathroom counter.”

Joan: “I’m not talking about candy in the john, you fool. I’m talking about the way they looked at me while you were signing us in. It was very clear that they thought I was useless and couldn’t contribute in any way.”

Wallace: “Well, at that moment, my dear, you couldn’t contribute. You don’t have any money.”

Joan: “They don’t know that. I can’t imagine why they would have such wicked thoughts about me when they don’t even know me.”

Wallace: “Hmm. May I make a suggestion?”

Joan: “What could you possibly say that would make me feel better about being treated like a tramp?”

Wallace: “Well, maybe next time, when you pack for our discreet rendezvous that my actual wife knows nothing about, you could make sure that your racy negligees aren’t hanging out of your suitcase, making it very clear that I’m not only paying for the room but for your hourly services as well.”


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