Questionable Developments

Past Imperfect – #256

Female dancers performing the Charleston, 1926. Credit: ©Scherl / Sueddeutsche Zeitung Photo / The Image Works

Female dancers performing the Charleston, 1926. Credit: ©Scherl / Sueddeutsche Zeitung Photo / The Image Works

Flapper #1: “I’m so excited to be in this show. I know you can’t tell because I look both angry and constipated, but really, I’m having a swell time. Even if they are making me stand next to a transvestite. As if we can’t see that bulge in his crotch.”

Flapper #2: “That’s not a penis, you hag. Do you not see the frizzy mass of hair on my head? Do the math.”

Flapper #3: “I’m practicing handing off a baton, because you never know when you might need to do that.”

Flapper #4: “I’m going to win the Miss Congeniality award even if I have to kill someone to get it. I’ve got great jazz hands, my right heel is higher than anybody else’s, and nobody can top my asymmetrical bob. This should be a piece of cake. Unless the judges figure out that I’m really Mickey Rooney.”

Flapper #5: “Am I the only one wondering why we’re doing this crap on top of blocks of ice?”

 

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